It’s a little early but…
Ya know how there’s no such thing as cold, it’s just lack of heat? Maybe there’s no such thing as hate, just lack of love.
How when you’re broken inside
The best poetry comes out.
The cracks on your insides
Bleed out words
Showing the world just how injured you really are.
You become one with the emotions
That bind you together because
They’re the only things that seem to be real.
Those same emotions, that stick in your sides
Like barbed wire holding your hands to your body,
They are what is pushing your skin apart.
They make your skin crawl
Emotion will keep you alive and human
But make your skin turn blue with sadness and
Red with anger.
And when your cheeks are wet with tears and your body is
Sore and aching from being pushed apart with emotion,
That is when you will write the best poetry of your life.
The words spilled out onto the sidewalk
Like blood gushing from a wound.
A terribly deep cut, right across the mouth.
Puking up syllables and inappropriate sounds
Left and right.
Just when you think it’s over,
You taste the familiar coarseness that is common with
Words you swallowed long ago
To suppress some sort of
They taste like week-old meatloaf
With the scent of iron, the bloody kind.
Here it comes again.
You try to stop
But suddenly all that emotion is pouring out onto the
Receiver’s polished shoes.
They’re so damn entitled, aren’t they?
You think not.
And here comes the vomit again.
Spewing insults as fast as the words can travel from
The locked box in your heart and the passion can pump them
Up your esophagus and shoot out of your mouth like
Boom. Boom. Boom.
They can’t respond.
You’ve filled their mouth with your word vomit.
They turn and walk in a dejected shuffle,
Away from the scene of the crime.
Now full of anger
Self- conscious timidness
To go unleash on another soul, deserving or not.
Then the thought floats through your mind,
Your oh-so-relaxed mind,
Maybe they were undeserving…
Just the thought of it
Calls real vomit to the mouth.
But you chose to ignore.
No responsibility here.
You soon forget.
But they don’t.
They don’t forget.
And the cycle starts again.
Go gag yourself.
Photo Credit: Olga Nydia Galindo, Artist
I enjoy every minute
Of every second
Of every day,
When people realize
So bad you know.
For those still
You’ve got to know.
It’s a painful
But don’t forget
To stand up
Because one day
And you’ll sit.
And bitch and moan.
Like the world
About you kid.
The fucked up fights.
The life you
The crimes. So fucked.
And if you’re not,
The least bit
Then you aren’t
In the world
We all call
Sizzling summer nights
Cooled by a slight breeze
Dancing through the air.
The drive up to the custard stand is
Filled with discussion of flavors.
Sister and I decide to get both,
The decision will please everyone.
Pint of chocolate. Pint of vanilla.
Homemade. Creamy. Delicious.
Excitedly speed home
With the convertible top
on the cherry-red Mustang.
Loud music blares from the stereo as I search for nonexistent stars in the suburban light.
In two minutes the car is parked in the driveway and we’re jumping out.
Search the pantry for gluten-free graham crackers, Hershey chocolate bars and
Marshmallows, the key ingredient.
Get out the bowls! Don’t waste any time!
One for Mom,
Scoop the custard into the bowls. Don’t be shy, fill it up!
We fight over who gets to roast the fluffy white sweets until they are golden brown,
Sister always wins.
I usually set them aflame and then they become a burnt snack for the dogs
to get stuck on the tips of their noses.
She runs off to the bonfire in center of the backyard.
The dogs chase after her, she has food after all.
I stand on the back porch, laughing at her and her limped run.
She’s training for a marathon and sprained her ankle.
Shaking my head,
I crumble gluten-free graham crackers into the custard-filled bowls
And shout to her to hurry,
the bowls begin to get soupy in the summer heat.
Next comes the chocolate.
Three sections of a Hershey bar are allotted for each sundae
And Sister comes back with perfectly brown, still puffy marshmallows.
Two for each sundae.
Sticky fingers spread the white goo
and drape it over the now semi-frozen treat.
Mom complains there isn’t enough Hershey candy on her already chocolate custard.
I add more to mine too.
We are addicted to chocolate.
Dad comes outside to claim his sundae.
We take our seats on the porch and listen to the sounds of summer:
Dogs playing, woofing at cars and kids,
Crickets, or maybe grasshoppers, because none of us really know the difference.
And the sound of spoons scraping the bottom of empty bowls.
The smoke rises through the air
And the night is just beginning.
The bartender fills up my mug
The charming young man picks up my tab.
Music floods through the scent of cigars
As the piano man strikes his first chord.
The speakeasy sways with the sound of the dancing
Their vivid dresses mock cherries, emeralds and ocean tides
With specks of gold and silver
That charming young man has returned
His dark hair slicked back to show his ice blue eyes.
He extends his hand and nods to the dance floor
My cigarette holder finds a home on the bar.
Taking his hand we dance.
My dress embodies the night sky that we hide from in this illegal place.
It’s dark colors swish and sway with the beat as my feet tap around his.
The gems surrounding the collar and chest reflect the light perfectly so that all eyes watch Us.
We are the bee’s knees. The cat’s meow.
Our bodies move through the Charleston,
Then the Shimmy,
Then the Bunny Hug.
Dance. Dance. Dance.
The night is ending soon, however.
The sun will rise within a few hours.
The piano man slows his fingers.
The speakeasy empties slowly
The charming young man wraps his jacket around me
We walk to his home under the twinkling starlight
Followed by the sweet cigar smell
The music still ringing in our ears
In my mind I am lost
Without you by my side
For one night, cares are tossed
As we go for a ride
Start the car, take it slow
Hold my hand, don’t let go
Music plays, smiles beam
Sing along, the stars gleam
How I love being here
Spending time, just us two
We’re best friends but I fear
I am falling for you
Every year, I’m alone
So let this be my gift:
Spending time as best friends
And a Valentine’s kiss.